What Your Starbucks Order Says About You

You can tell a lot about a person by looking at their go-to Starbucks order. Like your avo order and fave pizza topping, your coffee (or non-caffeine) order says a lot about who you are, what you like, and how you think. Don’t believe me? Find your fave below, and give it a read. Your mind will be blown.

Here’s what your Starbucks order says about you:


You’re a health nut, aren’t you? I ask, but we both know the answer is yes. Yoga is lyf, and you have to have greens with every single meal – even if that meal is just coffee. Still has to be green. Ha. Jokes aside, you genuinely care about what you put in your body, and we can all learn a thing or two about health and nutrition from you. Please DM me when you’ve finished reading this, because I have so many questions about the benefits of oat milk (which Starbucks offers btw).


You’re not playing around, my friend. You need that caffeine, and you need it NOW. As strong as they can make it. And cold, because you don’t have time to sit around and wait for your coffee to become an acceptable, drinkable temperature. Because you’re a really busy, always-on-the-go kinda person, your time is precious – so you like to stick to a pretty rigid and well-thought-out schedule. You’re a well-oiled machine, and no one can slow you down. No one. Good for you.


Sweet and smooth are the two words that describe you best. And what a coincidence, the blonde roast is subtly sweet and pretty darn smooth, too! You enjoy the lighter side of life, and you know life’s too short to get worked up over nothing. You’re a cool cat. And because you’re so funny and easy-going, friends probably give you a call when they need a good chat and some cry-laughter in their lives.


Watch out, there’s a wild child in the house, and you’re about to order the coolest, most daring frappuccino on the menu. You laugh in the face of danger (and sugar) and take every risk that comes your way. Friends going dancing at 2am? You’re there. Heck, it was probably your idea in the first place. Livin’ life the only way it should be lived. You go, Glen Coco.


You’re basic (in the nicest way possible ?). And by “basic” I mean super effing trendy and popular. Everyone loves you. Even if you made a plan to grace people with your presence once a year – like the elusive and seasonal PSL – it’ll be like no time has passed, and the friendship will pick up right where it left off. You’re just that good. People are drawn to you, like a moth to a flame (poetic, I know). You keep doing you, boo.


I get it, you just don’t like coffee. And that’s ok. Because Starbucks has quite a few different non-coffee options to choose from – lucky you. You know what your Starbucks order says about you? You tend to go with the flow, but when it comes down to making a decision, you surprise people by being totally different. You’re not normal. The best kind of “not normal”. You’re a true nonconformist who keeps life pretty interesting for those around you. Thank you for being you.


Simple. Down to earth. Back to basics. Three phrases that describe you perfectly. You’re 95% coffee already, so you don’t need any fancy syrups or flavours of the week. People tend to ask you for advice or to weigh in on tough life decisions, because you’ll tell ’em like it is. You’re a no muss, no fuss kinda person, and the world wouldn’t function without you.

Well, that was a fun dive into your psyche. Now that you know exactly what your Starbucks order says about you, go use the ENTERTAINER and get that 2-for-1 cuppa.

Don’t forget to check out our Pet-Friendly Restaurants in Cape Town.

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